Thursday, March 15, 2012

Empathy




A friend of mine spent a stint washing dishes at the Country Cafe in Ridgefield, WA. We went to breakfast with him shortly after he had been promoted to line cook. I witnessed him carefully eat the whites around the edges of his over-medium eggs and them promptly fork the entire yolk into his mouth. I could not help but imagine the gush of lukewarm protein that must have filled his mouth. I likened it to a giant yolk flavored Fruit Gushers fruit snack. The funny part was that he didn't particularly care for eating his eggs in this manner, either. He had begun doing it after spending some time cleaning the dried up yolks that restaurant patrons had sullied their plates with. For this dish pit veteran it was a mercy killing. Unpleasant? Sure. But, after what he knew, he could do no less for his unspoken friends who walked the back of the house bedecked with vinyl aprons.

When we go through things in life they change us. Or at least I think they should change us. It colors (or is it that it clears off?) the lens that we all view our slice of the world through.

We have a tip jar at my work. It sits, unassuming, beside the register. Many similar establishments have similar jars. Through my experience, over the last two years, I have a deeper appreciation for the purpose of these little fixtures.

When someone puts their nickels, quarters, even dollars, in our jar we count them up and they are divided among the employees based on the hours spent toiling to make our kitchen run smoothly. Very few are overly generous with their tokens of gratitude, and honestly I don't look down on those who put nothing at all. There is a reason, though, that at the end of the day someone inevitably asks "Did we get a lot of love today?"

Those tips pay for the gas that transports a father of three to a job that is sorely needed. I have seen those tips carefully socked away by a single father to buy a bicycle for his four year old daughter. The anecdotes abound here, but you get the point. Or do you...

I have not been trying to make the case for tipping. Each of us tips based on a complicated set of rules and social mores. My rules have been altered by being on the receiving end of a tip jar, but what has struck me is how life can so strongly affect the way we behave in many areas(see my extreme example in the first paragraph).

It is my, not so educated, opinion that this is good. There are many possible negatives, but on the balance, I think this hints toward what people refer to as the "wisdom of the aged". We are works in process. Never stop learning, and keep your heart open to empathy. Empathy can be an excellent instructor.

- Posted from my iPhone