My Wife

My wife is a stay at home mom. She is a somewhat non-traditional stay at home mom, since she is a part time hairstylist, but she is the primary care provider for our children. It needs to said, however, that a stay at home mom is so much more than the provider of childcare. Having a wife at home loving and rearing your children in a beautiful and responsible way is invaluable.


Every man should be so lucky as to have a wife with strong faith in God and a firm grasp of what is most important in her life and in her kids lives. A nanny or a grandma can never fully understand what it is that your kids need and what it is that you want them to have. No surrogate mom can pour out the love that can be felt from a warm biological mother. No substitute parent will work as diligently to instill the values that you want your little ones to pick up on. Certainly you wouldn't expect any daycare worker to do as good a job balancing the one on one time that every kid needs to learn and develop. At this point you are probably asking why I felt it neccessary to reel all this off. I haven't said anything more than a simple list of platitudes that you could read in any number of Mother's Day cards. The truth is that this should read more like a Valentine's Day card. I am expounding on the incredible qualities that my wife possesses, but even more so I would like to try to explain why this makes me love her all the more.

I am not trying to convince you that she is perfect. Diana is not perfect. Funny thing is that she would be the first to tell you that. Noone is more self-critical. Noone has more trepidation over whether she is making the right choices for our children than my wife herself. What I hope to help you understand is that this self-evaluating, humble behavior is one of the things that makes her qualified to be a mom. Her realistic outlook on life is also one of the things that makes her an outstanding spouse.

I have noticed a tendency, in the moms that I know, to devalue themselves as a wife. As though the more they settle into the role of mothering and being a "mom", the less they feel valuable as a wife to their husband. Even more to the point, they begin to see themselves as undesirable. Somehow society has convinced them that the two things are diametrically opposed. They have been sent the message that being a motherly figure is not sexy. Filling sipper cups, changing diapers, and rehearsing the alphabet, are all things that are said to drain them of their sexuality. I beg to differ.

When I look at my wife I see a real woman. She's not a high school girl anymore. Praise the Lord! Nothing against high school girls, mine was one when we fell in love, but they do not possess the traits that make a good wife. Do you remember the old country song "Older Women Make Beautiful Lovers" by the Statler Brothers? It sounds trite and maybe even insulting to say this about my wife, but it's true. I think that song may have been about the virtues of cougar hunting, but I mean it in the most straight forward way possible. I would never want a doe-eyed young girl to follow me around bobbing her head in mindless agreement to everything that I said. As a man I need a partner who is an intellectual equal. I need someone who is willing to put me in my place when I need it. I need someone who can sense when I need support and be there to hold my elbow and help me along. There is almost nothing as powerful and devastatingly heart-warming as knowing that a mature, beautiful, clever, and real woman, like Diana, is making a conscious to decision to continue being with me each day. She isn't here because she is a scared young girl or a trapped old vixen. She is a gift from God, and she is purposefully making a choice to be my wife.

I can't speak for every man out there. I don't even think I have exactly said these words out loud to anyone before so I can't even tell you how they might react to what I am saying here, but I have a very strong suspicion that most men would agree with me. Deep down we all desire "to have and to hold" a real woman. My wife Diana is real and I thank God daily that he has sent her into my life.


-Posted from my iPhone